Your Grudge is Ruining You

People can be sh*tty. We all know that! Anyone who has been in public understands this. Anyone who has been involved in a relationship, ever, can agree. Your upset at your mother in law, because she made a remark about the cleanliness of your home, your sister commented about your midsection size in that dress, and your childhood best friend for stealing the love of your life. All these reasons are justified. However, it’s causing severe distress in your life.

Negativity directly affects universal energy

It’s dangerous to walk around with hate, grudges, and negative energy in your heart. When you walk in a room all that trash walks in with you. Some of us energy sensitive folks can smell you from a mile away! Each person you encounter is imprinted with that smudge from your ex-boyfriend. This smudge gives those people permission to pass on their negative energy. Ever stepped into the Department of Motor Vehicles on a busy Monday? YIKES! Share light not shadow!

Besides we all know the universal law that what you think about becomes. Like attracts like. You attract what you think about. I know what you’re saying, “If this is true. How come I haven’t won the lottery?” My response would be, “How many times have you thought about winning the lottery compared to if you will have enough money for your electric bill or how bad you need a new coffee pot or what an asshole your boss is? This is a post for another day, but to finish the thought how much action or energy to invest in the thought? The second part of believing is doing!

 

You are poisoning yourself, not them

“Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die,” -unknown

You make yourself sick over thoughts about this person. You are drinking poison over and over. Each minute spent before bed plotting your revenge or imagining a scenario where you can tell them off the way you originally should have is compromising your health! That person can’t feel the anger you have for them. Only you can. Boiling toxic energy and rage inside to damage someone else is insane!

Set yourself free

We already know your internal pain is not hurting your nemesis. Break the obsession and grant yourself the freedom you deserve from it. Do not engage in the negative activity. Consider it universally handled. A non-reaction does not mean you chose to do nothing. It means you decided to reject the poison the contender has provided and remain in the positive state you naturally are. The best revenge is accompanied by kindness. The day you walk into work and are not bothered by your coworkers attempt to one up your efforts is the day you become Batman! Do not be a victim to circumstance. Don’t be someone whose mood swirls like the wind according to how everyone else woke up this morning. Control what you put in your heart and your whole life will change drastically! The vampires will not be interested in pushing your buttons, anymore. The Universe will award your efforts. Everyone will notice your powerful positive energy is untouchable and you will live happily ever after just crushing it at life!

I get nowhere being big and scary. I have no power in force and punishment. I get no reward for time spent on a grudge. I am the only sufferer. It’s a weird vendetta between me and the hologram of my enemy. My target may hear 5 percent of how I feel but I hear it ALL. I take all that poison. They are unaware I wake up at 3 a.m. hating them. I do. My poison. They don’t know that tv show reminds me of them. I do. My poison.

Freeing them will free you. You bless the whole situation by freeing them/yourself.
The barista at the Starbucks. I free her. My best friend’s father who never trusted me, I free him. No matter how stupid it sounds! Free the police officer that pulled you over even though others were going faster. Officer prick is free. Free your husband for not noticing your new hair cut…and not taking out the trash…and leaving the milk out…you get the idea.

Free the people who have upset you, so you can be free! Your freedom is more valuable than keeping them prisoner. Do it for yourself. Take the opportunity to eliminate the baggage. There is no extra time to waste on sh*tty people. Besides, you have wonderful ideas to think up, traveling plans to make, and light to shine on this world! Focus on that!

Written By: Sarah Huffer

Death Doesn’t Go with the Décor: Reflection of Grief

After my Mother passed, my sisters and I sorted through her things. We picked from her collections from oldest to youngest, one piece at a time. The items we all wanted would be settled with a fair game of rock, papers, scissors. It was hard enough to get out of bed right now, even harder to divide her entire life belongings. Yet, here we were, in our mother’s house, but she wasn’t home.

I unloaded the boxes out of my trunk when I got home. And there she was, my mother. My mother was now an assortment of collectable and uncollectable items. She laid there in a coffee tin full of marbles and a ceramic smiling panda with a broken hand. If I looked hard enough around my mother’s house I would find that broken panda hand in a jewelry box or stationary kit.

I craved her.

I was addicted to my mother and not a fix was out there. I needed her. I needed her friendly face. I needed the unconditional love with that smile which validated everything was going to be okay. I needed tomato soup and grilled cheese. I needed the scent of Cover Girl make-up and Marlboro Lights mixed and somehow smelling beautiful when it radiated from her clothing. I needed to know that when everything in life goes wrong that at least I had Mom. My security in this world vanished. In exchange for my mother, the world gave me half a box of useless, random junk.

The trade was uneven. I accepted pennies over my $100 bill. The emptiness is unbelievable. It’s odd to feel your heartbeat and know its hollow all at the same time. I believe my mom was sacrificed for some big meaningful purpose. I can’t seem to find the rhyme or reason for it, though. Maybe we have all grown from missing her.

As long as I walk the world like I’ve been cheated, I lose.

Truth is, I wasn’t cheated. I was blessed by God himself. I had the best Mother in the world. I had her for twenty-eight wonderful and confusing years. I am brave. I am strong. I am happy. I won.

I placed the broken ceramic panda on a shelf in my house. It doesn’t go with my décor, but neither does my mother’s death. I love that stupid panda.

 

Written By: Sarah Huffer

A Letter To My Scared Little Sister

I know how it feels. It’s like your navigating the world all alone. You’re confused and resistant…we all are.

Life either supports what your doing or it falls apart. Thats how you know you’re next move. When the terrible voices are loud and the right thing comes through as a whisper, it becomes obvious that something BIG must shift. Somethings gotta change, before your very soul shatters into sharp pieces that you hope don’t cut you too deep on the way down. 

Its so personal to you, but not to others. Its your life. It will feel as no one understands.

We do, though.

We do it, too. We crumble in our driveways, tear soaked pillows, kitchen sinks, into vodka cranberry, the last stale cigarette, and out into a vicious rant toward our Applebees server for late appetizers.

Your journey will twist and turn in such poetic ways. Some of the traveling is easy. Some parts of your journey will be painful. Don’t forget the roads that will be dark, kind, boring, brilliant, tired, and mind blowing. Take them exactly as they are.

Remember, don’t make a hole into a bridge. A hole is a hole. Its allowed to be a hole. Try not to take the short cuts, the adventure is unsteady and changes like the wind. Feel all of it. Enjoy the entire walk. 

I want you to know I’m rooting for you. I always will. Your young adult life is beginning and you are in for a beautifully crafted experience designed by God especially for you. 

When I let go of your hand, I will still be checking on you, praying for you, and loving you the entire way. You will be terrified at times, thats how you know you can also be brave. You are gonna be great! 

We all are ❤

Surrender

I surrender.
I surrender what I cannot change. 

I surrender the thoughts that make my soul ache.

I surrender to the idea that some events in life are for viewing and not actually doing anything about it. 

I surrender to the theory that things happen for a reason.

I surrender that I do not have to micromanage every detail of my future for I already am designated with the best plan.

I surrender who I think I should be and rejoice with who I am where I am.

I surrender that what you think about you become.

I surrender what surrounds you influences you.

In this surrendering, I lift these circumstances to you and make myself available to recieve a solution. 

With this surrendering, I sleep peacefully tonight and return to the place where my heart can be free.

Unbasic B*tch

Written By: Sarah Huffer

 

Fitting in is the most miserable decision of my life.

I’m clumsy and mostly awkward. Weirdly happy and bright. Somewhere in life, I decided I needed to blend. Like ya’ll blend eyeshadow, I smudged my personality until I became one watered down fragment of a soul without any defining characteristics.

I agreed with the crowd. I contoured my face(I still suck at this). I worshipped fall. I pinned Pinterest projects. Should I buy a salt rock lamp or eat kale? I was powerless to Target.

Even more, I highlighted the best parts of my life to portray my life. In reality, I couldn’t keep up with the dishes. I burn bread. My kids were feeding their healthy dessert to the dogs. My youngest daughter is, literally, pissed off all the time. She only smiles when you are hurting yourself.

This world of Starbucks, Kardashians (except you Khloe, you my girl), and Fitbits blow balls! I hate your paper Mache hanging spheres and your Hobby Lobby chevron color theme! What happened to janky homemade Birthday cakes?! Can we bring that back, please?

Let’s make imperfect normal. Write a shitty draft, paint a terrible picture, eat pizza rolls for dinner. How else will we have time to live? If I’m keeping up this charade, how will I teach my kids depth and values? Compassion for people? Tribe achievements? I can’t let my kids think this is life.

We participate in a world where social media occupies a portion of our day. Keeping up with appearances and unnecessary updates of our lives has priority over more meaningful contributions. Your attention is valuable. Quit being a sucker.

Ok. I like seeing my family’s baby pictures and pictures of your vacations. Cat videos are hilarious. Somehow, social media has provided a small insight into what is going on in the world. However, I will remind you that between every funny meme and post about your mason jar salad is an overload of disturbing information that you are allowing to litter your mind. These things affect you on a serious level! Every ridiculous rant, sick news article, shared report about physically abused animals you scan, is poisoning your healthy psyche and littering your soul. We are the problem.

I am not on a cloud. I know unspeakable things lurk in the shadows. My proposal is to contribute more positivity than complacency. Instead of sharing the terrible conviction, share an article on how the community is solving the problem. Let’s shine a light on what is beautiful and cast the horrendous into nonexistence. Who knows…all your happy vibes may inspire someone on the edge of doing unspeakable things into being a better human being.

You all have choice here. You have all the power! Let’s spend a portion of our social media time connecting with a human, contributing to our country, or adding light and love into the stratosphere? Please fill my news feed with posts about you achieving, making a difference, or an impactful way love has bestowed a change in your or somebody else’s life…and laughing baby videos, because…well…I believe they can change lives.

 You are an unstoppable force, start acting that way!